Category: Jokes

Bar Jokes

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  • A man walks into a bar.
    He said, “Ouch.”
  • Two guys walk into a bar.
    The third one ducks.
  • A panda, a cowboy, a man with a cat on his shoulder, and a time-traveler walk into a bar.
    “What is this,” the bartender yells. “Some kind of joke?”
  • A ghost walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.”
  • A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Gimme a pint and a mop.”
  • A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer, please! And one for the road!”
  • A snake walks into a bar.
    The bartender says, “How the hell did you do that?”
  • A man walks into a bar owned by horses.
    The bartender says, “Why the short face?”
  • A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please.”
  • A tennis ball walks into a bar.
    The barman says, “Have you been served?”
  • A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: “I’ll have a Gin and… Tonic.”
    The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?” And the polar bear replies, “I don’t know, I’ve always had them.”
  • Two dragons walk into a bar.
    The first one says, “It sure is hot in here.”
    His friend snaps back, “Shut your mouth!”
  • A weasel walks into a bar.
    The bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”
    “Pop,” goes the weasel.
  • A penguin walks into a bar.
    The bartender says, “So, what will it be this time?”
    The penguin doesn’t answer because it’s a penguin.
  • A horse walks into a bar.
    The shocked bartender points a finger his way in alarm and yells, “Hey!”
    The horse says, “You read my mind, buddy.”
Jokes