IT Linux Humour
IT Cartoon
Cartoon Mastiz
Source : Far Side
Bar Jokes
- A man walks into a bar.
He said, “Ouch.” - Two guys walk into a bar.
The third one ducks.
- A panda, a cowboy, a man with a cat on his shoulder, and a time-traveler walk into a bar.
“What is this,” the bartender yells. “Some kind of joke?” - A ghost walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.”
- A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Gimme a pint and a mop.”
- A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer, please! And one for the road!”
- A snake walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “How the hell did you do that?” - A man walks into a bar owned by horses.
The bartender says, “Why the short face?” - A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please.”
- A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The barman says, “Have you been served?” - A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: “I’ll have a Gin and… Tonic.”
The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?” And the polar bear replies, “I don’t know, I’ve always had them.” - Two dragons walk into a bar.
The first one says, “It sure is hot in here.”
His friend snaps back, “Shut your mouth!” - A weasel walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel. - A penguin walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “So, what will it be this time?”
The penguin doesn’t answer because it’s a penguin. - A horse walks into a bar.
The shocked bartender points a finger his way in alarm and yells, “Hey!”
The horse says, “You read my mind, buddy.”
Best riddles
- A man was driving a black truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. A lady was crossing the street. How did the man see her?
- What asks but never answers?
- What’s black when you get it, red when you use it, and white when you’re done with it?
- How far can you run into the woods?
- There was a green house. Inside the green house there was a white house. Inside the white house there was a red house. Inside the red house there were lots of babies. What is it?
- Take off my skin – I won’t cry, but you will! What am I?
- Why did the golfer change his socks?
- A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream?
- What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?
- Johnny ‘s mother had three children. The first child was named April The second child was named May. What was the third child ‘s name?
- I am the beginning of the end, and the end of time and space.
- I am essential to creation, and I surround every place.
- What has rivers with no water, forests but no trees and cities with no buildings?
- There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
- I can run but not walk. Whereever I go, thought follows me close behind?
- Imagine you are in a dark room. How do you get out?
- Stop imagining.