- A man walks into a bar.
He said, “Ouch.”
- Two guys walk into a bar.
The third one ducks.
- A panda, a cowboy, a man with a cat on his shoulder, and a time-traveler walk into a bar.
“What is this,” the bartender yells. “Some kind of joke?”
- A ghost walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.”
- A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Gimme a pint and a mop.”
- A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer, please! And one for the road!”
- A snake walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “How the hell did you do that?”
- A man walks into a bar owned by horses.
The bartender says, “Why the short face?”
- A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please.”
- A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The barman says, “Have you been served?”
- A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: “I’ll have a Gin and… Tonic.”
The bartender asks, “Why the big pause?” And the polar bear replies, “I don’t know, I’ve always had them.”
- Two dragons walk into a bar.
The first one says, “It sure is hot in here.”
His friend snaps back, “Shut your mouth!”
- A weasel walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
- A penguin walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “So, what will it be this time?”
The penguin doesn’t answer because it’s a penguin.
- A horse walks into a bar.
The shocked bartender points a finger his way in alarm and yells, “Hey!”
The horse says, “You read my mind, buddy.”